His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
