i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
