i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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