i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
