Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Small penises have feelings too.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
