You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I smell stomach acid.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
