If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
ugly people sure do ruin things
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
