I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
