I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
