Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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