Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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