i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
