i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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