how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
