ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
