Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
