Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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