i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
