only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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