i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
