shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
