The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
