we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
two words: eviction party
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He has the fingertips of a God
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