what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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