if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
