I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
