And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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