No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
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