The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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