They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
