So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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