My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
