she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She's just so happy...and so naked.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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