Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
