Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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