well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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