so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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