you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
