can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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