Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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