well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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