She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
