I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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