you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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