dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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