so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
