I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
