She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
