He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
