I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
