so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
