dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
