Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
